The-Courier-recoveringnoah

#1
Scene: Kitchen Table

Eli : Hey Mom, are you cutting out tampons?

Me: Noooooo, these would be coupons.

#2
Scene: Kitchen Table

Me: Eli, why don't you tell Daddy what you learned today about the life-cycle of a frog. Do you remember what a baby frog is called?

Eli: Yes Ma'am. It's called a tampon.

(Goodness. Do I detect a theme here?)

#3
Scene: Environmental Co-op in Terrell.

Educator: Can anyone tell me what glass is made of?

Eli: Ooh! Oooh! Oooh!

Educator: Yes, Eli.

Eli: Beer.

(I seriously wanted to crawl under the table and never emerge again. I mean, honestly, what????)

#4
Scene: Kitchen Table - learning about the planets

Me: So, these are all the different planets. This one's Mercury. This is Venus. This is Earth.... This one is Uranus. This one is...

Eli: Wait a second. What's that one called?

Me: It's called Uranus.

Eli: That's my anus?

Me: No, it's a planet called Uranus.

Eli: My anus?

Me: Nooooooooooo, it's a planet called URANUS.

Eli: What's an anus?

Me: (Shooting an evil glare at Sim who is unsuccessfully trying to stifle a laugh behind his hands.) Eli, it's just a planet. And the name of the planet is Uranus. Okay?

Eli: Okay.

A few seconds later...

Eli: Hey Noah, these are all planets. This one is Earth. Here's Mars. Here's Saturn. And this one is Eli's planet. It's called Anus.


Boys, eh?