The-Courier-recoveringnoah

Just wanted to let you all know that we are still here. Contrary to what some may believe, we have not fallen off the face of the earth. We are just going through a really rough time at the moment.

I've been debating about whether or not to post anything.. but then blogging is my way of dealing with things... so, I figure I may as well just write about it and get it off my chest.

Turns out one of our little munchkins has RAD. Oh heck, you all know who I'm talking about. I'm not quite sure the difference between attachment disorder and RAD, so she could possibly just have attachment disorder. I'm still learning about it all, so I don't really know what exactly is going on.

What I do know is that if you google it, you might think, "No way... there goes Leslie again... slappin' on a label..."

Trust me... trust me.. we have resisted this for a long time. We really wanted to attribute everything to her brain injury... but we just can't ignore it anymore. It's been 18 months. She has classic RAD signs that, like I said, we can't ignore anymore.

All I can say is that if you think we're crazy, then you probably haven't dealt with it before. A friend of mine watched her the other day and commented on sweet and quiet and shy she was the entire time. Just walked around holding a doll..

Hmmmm. you know, that's pretty interesting. There are no dolls in our house. Wanna know why? Because their eyes get poked out. We've also had to completely stop doing crafts with google eyes because she loves to rip the eyes off...

I want you to believe me when I say that you have no idea what goes on behind our four walls. No idea....

We love our little girl. Knowing that she has attachment issues does not change that. It broke our heart, but we are determined to help her get better... because this is not her fault. And we love her. Do you hear me? We.Love.Her!!!

It's funny, I know, that I haven't said her name yet... even though you all know who I'm talking about. It's like if I don't say her name then it protects her somehow...

You'll have to excuse me. My mind is so tired right now...

We have started doing some Nancy Thomas (no relation) attachment therapy and let me tell you... it's like we have unleashed a flood of demons. Not only in our little girl, but also our middle child. That one threw us for a loop.

It has been rough. I am being tested NON-STOP. Their one goal is to get me to lose control. Sounds strange, I know, but it's all part of it.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, they have not been able to break me, which means they are going to extreme measures to make me lose control..

Oh, yeah. Did I mention that kids with attachment issues target the mom??

Oh joy.

Anyway, these extreme measures are the reason I haven't been blogging. I can't leave their side. I literally had my first shower this morning in four days... My priority right now is making sure that Noah and our animals are safe.

We are even having to go so far as to put in surveillance equipment in our house so that we can keep an eye on them.

Just to clear the air, there is no sexual acting out. All aggression is physical....

As I said, we have to make sure that Noah remains safe.... enough said.

We will be starting attachment therapy with a therapist this summer. Honestly, we need another therapy bill like we need a hole in the head... but I do believe we're dealing with a mild case (cases?), but if left untreated, I believe it will get worse. (And thank you, Christine, for being my rock through this. I know you're been there, done that, still doing it... but there's no way I could've gotten through 5 minutes of this without having you on speed dial. You, too, Tristan!)

So, anyway, fortunately, Sim is right on board. And my parents agree. And so does the school. We are not way off-base on this one.

See? I told you to trust me.

So, that's it. We're one big dysfunctional family. Now... who wants to come over for a playdate?

P.S.: Please forgive me if you've emailed me, facebooked me, called me, or left a comment on my blog and I haven't responded. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE hearing from you - things are just crazy right now.

P.P.S. Lesson of the Day:

If you battle your stress by consuming copious amounts of pasta.. you will be too embarrassed to join the other moms at the pool this summer....

Not that I ate 5 bowls of bowtie pasta this afternoon or anything.

Who? Me?