The-Courier-recoveringnoah

First things first....

I would like to sincerely apologize if any of you woke up at 7:15 yesterday morning to the sound of tires peeling out of a driveway and a crazy woman shouting

"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMM!"

at the top of her voice in her best Braveheart imitation.

That was me.

I had the day off.

Whoo hoo!!!

It was a day full of self-indulgence... which basically means three things:

1. Friends
2. Food
3. Fun

It would have been even more self-indulgent but an early morning stop to the ATM quickly fanned the flames.

We be broke.

But, hey, not going to let a little monetary challengings dampen my day off.

No way, Jose.

Anyway, I picked up Tristan and we drove to Mesquite to get Christine - who was also mucho excited to get away from her crazy life - and we hit the town.

First stop: Arlington Homeschool Bookfair.

This is my third Book Fair. I have so learned my lesson. Every year I buy some hellaciously expensive curriculum only to find out that the child I bought it for has some sort of learning issue and needs specialized training. So, I bought two Critical Thinking workbooks that I can share between the kids, some modeling clay, and a few dry erase boards.

That was it. I was so proud of myself.

Our goal is to simply survive the next year. I am not going to sweat it. Math & English - that'll be it.

Anyway, we didn't spend much time at the Fair. I was starting to get overwhelmed. Too many fluorescent lights and estrogen in one place.

I needed some fresh air.

Then we hit the Scholastic Warehouse Booksale, where to my great delight, I got to see my friends salivate within 3 seconds of walking in.

Dang, I wish I'd had my camera.

We also managed to hit up Cracker Barrel, Schlotzsky's, Chik-Fil-A and Taco Cabana. Mmmmm....

I refuse to ruin my Mother's Day by stepping on the scales.

We had an awesome time. I really do wish I could recharge like this once a week, but sadly, it may be another year.

That's cool. I'm in control. Will not hyperventilate. It's all under control.

Now, I just have to repeat that 100 times until I believe it.

So, the most important thing, that I'm sure you're all wondering is ... how did the kids do with Sim yesterday??

They were good as gold.

Of course. Not one single problem. No fighting. No manipulating. Nothing. They actually cleaned the house - including the bathrooms. AND they took a nap.

I was so pissed.

Sorry, there's no other word for it. I love my husband. I adore my husband. I think he rocks the world. But I so wanted him to experience just a teeny, tiny little bit of what I go through each day.

Nope. Not a bit.

And it' so frustrating that kids with attachment disorders do this. AAAARGH!!!

Here's a good example. Sim gets up at 5:15 each morning. All he has to do is breathe and the kids are screaming, "Daddeeeeee!" and demanding to wake up. He leaves a few minutes later and I'm left with two cranky children who are up before the crack of dawn.

Our day begins early around here.

I, on the otherhand, managed to get up yesterday morning, take a shower IN their bathroom, dry my hair, let the dog out, let the dog jump on their bed, make tons of noise and they did not wake up at all. They all slept in - including Sim.

What??

Now, it's 5:50 in the morning. Sim is working today (thus the title Mother's Day, Shmuther's Day) and the kids are already up and plotting ways to make me cry.

Sim gets the golden children and I get the "I'm going to make golden puddles of pee all over your clean laundry" children.

In the words of Travis Tritt... It's a great day to be alive!

You know, I keep envisioning all of our therapists sitting around a pool in Tahiti, drinking pina coladas and mai tais, and laughing about how we fund their expensive and lavish lifestyle.

Anyway, gotta keep on movin'..... Keep on laughin'..... Keep on countin' down the days until they turn 18....


That's all. Must go. Must gear up for the day. It's gonna be a fun one.

By the way, I am back to drinking coffee. Of course I am. It's a RAD mom's best friend.

And by the way, Sim just left for work and gave me parenting advice on how to keep the kids under control.

Oh please. The only way things are going to change around here is if I grow a pair of testicles and change my name to Dad.

Am also trying to think warm, lovely thoughts about Sim's job... and the company that made him and all the other guys work on Mother's Day.

I imagine there are at least 50 other moms thinking warm, lovely thoughts about them, too....

Hope you all have a great Mother's Day!

If I don't get bit, kicked, or pinched today then it'll be a success. Who needs roses when you can have bruise-free skin?

;-)

Leslie

P.S. For those of you new around here... please don't take everything I say seriously. I am very tongue-in-cheek. I love and adore my children. I just have to infuse my sense of humor into it otherwise I'll sit around and cry all day. Capiche? Capiche.